I was happily driving home this Saturday morning after Thanksgiving and heard a song by Phyllis Hyman. I was momentarily saddened because she was a great artist who we lost much too soon. And while I really can't say what cause of death was listed on her death certificate, I have my own opinion. Part of what I believe killed her was loneliness caused by self-hatred. And I further believe the self hatred was caused by the systemic racism that controls everything in this country that we call America.
Look at her picture.
She was a beautiful woman. Period. She was tall and statuesque. She held herself like an African Queen. She was a full figured WOMAN. But because she was a beautiful BLACK woman and Black is not always considered beautiful (even by other Black people) she suffered indignities that she could not deal with. She could not believe in herself enough not to listen to what others said about her.
And I suppose that is the lesson to be learned. We must learn to love ourselves. And the love must be strong enough to mute all the nonsense that others might say against us. I heard something on a Back oriented radio talk show over ten years ago entitled
10 Things One Needs to Know to Wear Black Skin and Stay Sane in America. It helped to center me then and I share it here:
1. You will never be white.
2. People react to you according to how you look.
3. You must like what you see in the mirror.
4. Fragmentation is not a normal part of life. It is certainly not Afrocentric.
5. It is OK to be angry. (Even if you don't know what you're angry about).
6. You are not imagining it-Nobody knows how you feel.
7. Black people are afraid of change.
8. Thinking is allowed and your opinions are valid.
9. Your ancestors are watching.
10. It is OK to be ink-stained Black and have nappy hair and thick lips.
Something to think about.
By the way, here is a list of Phyllis Hyman records/CDs . If you have ever heard her sing, you probably already have most of them. If you have never heard of her, then you don't know what singing from the soul is all about!
